Lord Almighty Asks Joe Biden to Step Down
Dateline: Washington DC
In what is being termed an unprecedented call from a growing number of voters, Democratic operatives and members of congress for President Biden to step down, The Lord Almighty has decided to weigh in on the matter. "Generally, I don't involve myself with man's governments and their petty squabbles over oil, mineral rights, land grabbing, wars and election issues," He said. Speaking thru a representative, The Almighty told Mr. Biden that, "it might be time to step aside and let someone else run the county. Clearly, your cognitive ability and mental acuity is seriously in question. As one who sees 'from everlasting to everlasting', I can pretty much tell that you've lost a step or two over the past few years. For the good of the nation and your own well-being, it might not be a bad idea for you to step down and let a younger person take the reins of power. Your poll numbers are really low, your rallies are a snooze fest, you don't start work till 10 o'clock and you have to take a nap every day from 2 to 4 in the afternoon. But what really corked it for me was your debate performance the other day. Those are not what I'd say are the qualifications for the leader of the free world to possess. Look, I’m telling you this for your own good! Why don't you sleep on it and get back to me next week sometime," He said.
After the 45-minute conversation with the Supreme Sovreign of the Universe, a visibly agitated Joe Biden said, "Who does he think he is, telling me what to do"? he told a press corp. meeting in the Rose Garden on Friday. "I had a physical check-up with my doctor, and even tho I'm 81, he told me that I have the vigor and vitality of an 80-year-old! Short of him calling down fire and brimstone on me, I'm not going to leave this Presidential race simply because God told me to. It's going to take a higher authority than him to get me to drop out.
Sources close to The Almighty said that when Mr. Biden responded that way, He rolled his eyes, shrugged his shoulders and muttered something about fire and brimstone. When asked if he intended on calling down fire and brimstone, the Almighty said, ''No comment".